Guacamole

Yesterday I spent the day cooking for the 50th birthday party of a friend. I agreed to do the catering for her party for fifty of her friends. Why did I do that, you ask? Because I am a masochist. Or crazy. Or I simply can't say no. Or just because she is a friend and I could. Pick one reason. Any of them are valid.

The cool thing is that Grandma Foodie showed up in town on Friday on an unrelated mission. But while she was here, I recruited her to help. So yesterday we cooked. And we cooked. And we cooked some more after I knocked an entire tray of completed enchiladas on the floor. Yes, I did. It happens. Nobody's perfect. I'm fairly close, but not quite there. Yet.

The challenging part of making this food was that it needed to be largely gluten free, as well as kosher, and contain no nuts or nut oils. So I chose to make Mexican. You can do a lot with cheese and corn. We made cheese and chili enchiladas, Mexican Caeser salad, rice, beans, guacamole, salsa, black bean and corn salsa, and arepitas.

Grandma Foodie and I cook well together. She usually has better ideas than I do, (hey, I had to get it from somewhere didn't I?) and she is just as happy to be a sous chef as a head chef and plus she makes a great dishwasher/organizer. We have differences of opinion about food sometimes, but I am always right and she is always wrong, except when she isn't. One of the areas we disagree on is guacamole. I make great guacamole. Best. Anywhere. Just ask anybody who has eaten it. Grandma Foodie thinks, however, that one should put tomatoes into one's guacamole. All I have to say about that is: fine; go ahead; if you want to ruin your guacamole; but hey, you do whatever you want.

Here is the best guacamole on earth. All measurements are approximate, you'll have to adjust it until it tastes good, like mine. Which I guess is a problem if you've never tasted my guacamole. Just do your best.

Guacamole
2 ripe avocados
Juice of 1/2 to 1 lime
1 large clove chopped garlic
1/3 c chopped red or green onion
Cayenne or Tabasco. Or some of both.
Salt to taste. (A lot, probably at least a teaspoon, maybe more)

This recipe is easily adjusted to larger quantities. yesterday, we made fourteen avocado's worth.

Mash avocados with a fork. Add other ingredients. The ones that will need adjusting are the lime juice, salt, and cayenne/ Tabasco. Start with a little, taste, add more. You can always add more, but you can't take it out. Fry some corn tortillas for chips, Tostitos are for losers.

Grandma Foodie's Hello Dolly recipe

Apparently, Grandma Foodie lost her copy of her own cookie recipe. A really good one. We call it "Hello Dollies", but I've seen it called "Magic cookie bars", "5 layer cookie bars". I like the Hello Dolly name, because I loved the movie when I was a kid and I think that name is more fun than the others. Here it is, Mom. Everyone else, make it cause it's really good.

Hello Dollies

Melt 1/2 cup butter and mix with 1 C graham cracker crumbs. Press into the bottom of an 8 x 8 square pan. Sprinkle with 1 C chocolate chips, 1 C coconut, 1 C butterscotch chips, and 1 C chopped walnuts. Spoon one can of sweentend condensed milk over it and bake in a 350 degree oven for 40 minutes. Sool, cut into squares, and then hide them from your children and eat them all yourself.

Summer's last Hurrah

You couldn't say that we are having Indian summer in any sense of the phrase. It is cold and windy. Did I mention cold?

I was starting dinner last night and was contemplating what kind of salad I should make. I thought back to the eldest daughter's wedding and the fabulous Green Goddess dressing we made for the dip for crudites. "Hurry!" I thought, "get the last herbs out of the garden before the damn frost gets them!" I grabbed my shears and headed for the bedraggled herb patch. I found just enough left of the herbs that I needed. I dropped them into the processor along with the other ingredients.

The brown squiggly stuff is anchovy paste. Yes, anchovy paste. Get over it. It is not gross, it adds a salty richness and subtle  depth to quite a few things, this recipe included.

I whirled the ingrdients around and in less than a minute had the lovely emerald green goodness that is Green Goddess.

Then I whipped up some homemade croutons, boiled an egg, chopped some scallions, and tore up some lettuce. (I keep lettuce cleaned and ready to go in a plastic bag in the fridge. Wash the lettuce, put in plastic bag and add a paper towel. It keeps for a week, but it doesn't usually last that long. If you buy salad in a bag, you're just stupid. Or lazy. Or lazy and stupid. Or lazy, stupid, and you have too much money.) Then I tossed it all together in a wooden salad bowl. You wouldn't use anything else, would you? It was marvelous and made me sad that summer has come to an end. Now run out to your herb garden (do I really have to say it? Just plant one) and gather up the last remnants. It'll  make you happy.
Green Goddess Dressing (Courtesy of Grandma Foodie)

1 C Mayo
1 C sour cream
1/2 chives
2 T red wine vinegar
2 T parsley
1 T Tarragon
3 T anchovy paste
1T chopped green onion

Mix. Serve on lettuce with hard boiled egg, homemade croutons, and scallions.

Croutons
My mother, otherwise known as Grandma Foodie, makes some of the best croutons I have ever eaten. She takes white bread (they can be made with just about any kind of bread, though) and cuts it into cubes, then puts them in a SINGLE LAYER (can you tell that is the really important part?) in a saute pan in which enough butter has been melted to cover the bottom with a little olive oil and garlic powder has been swirled into it as well. Brown on one side, flip them and brown on the other side,m adding more butter as needed. Put them in a bowl, sprinkle with Parmesan cheese (although leave this off for Green Goddess) and DO NOT LET ANYONE TASTE EVEN ONE! Because if you do, they will eat them all and you will have to make more.